The Unseen Weight: HR Carries the People…But Who’s Carrying HR?

✍🏽 Message from Coach D

You carry the people.

You manage the policies.

You clean up the messes no one talks about, until it’s a lawsuit.

You’re the one who sits with the employees who are breaking…

The managers who are overwhelmed…

The teams who are toxic but “too valuable to lose.”

And you do it without a playbook for the emotional weight.

You’re expected to be objective, fair, strong.

But here’s what almost no one says out loud:

“Does anyone see that HR is carrying the entire emotional culture of the organization, alone?”

---

🧨 And While You’re Carrying Everyone Else…

You’re also carrying the men who won’t say a word about what they’re going through.

The men who:

• Keep showing up but have checked out

emotionally

• Use sarcasm or silence to hide how much they’re

hurting

• Break down behind closed doors… and suit back

up by 9 AM

Why am I mentioning men? Because it’s Men’s Health Month, and HR is the direct controller of health support at work for both men and women.

But men? They don’t “need” or “want” help, at least not out loud. 🙊💪🏾

You see it.

You feel it.

But no one taught you how to reach them. And most tools in HR don’t fill the void.

---

📉 The EAP Paradox

Employee Assistance Programs (EAPs) are designed to support employees’ mental health and well-being. Yet utilization rates tell a different story:

• Nationally, EAP utilization averages around 5–7%,

with some reports indicating rates as low as 1.8%

in certain organizations. (Something’s wrong…)

• In Kansas City, data from the Kansas City Area

Transportation Authority (KCATA) showed an

annualized EAP utilization rate of approximately

9.91% during a specific period. (You’re no better…)

Despite the availability of these resources, many employees—particularly men—are not engaging with them. This underutilization stems from:

• Stigma – Concerns about appearing weak or

vulnerable

• Lack of Awareness – Uncertainty about what

EAPs offer, tied to the results they actually want

• Accessibility Issues – Perceived complexity in

accessing services

---

🔄 The Victim → Victor Shift Starts With You

This week, I’m talking directly to HR leaders—especially the women—who make up over 70% of the profession and are often underpaid, overlooked, and overused.

You were never trained to be the therapist, the referee, and the crisis manager.

But that’s what the job has become.

And still, you show up. For whatever reason.

You don’t complain.

You get it done.

🫡 Thank You!! 👏🏾👏🏾

---

“But getting it done is different from doing it well, without losing yourself in the process.”

---

🟢 Let’s Talk About That Shift…

What does Victim → Victor look like for HR Leaders?

• Victim Mode: Absorbing everything in silence.

Playing therapist without support. Feeling like if

you don’t hold it all together, everything might fall

apart.

• Victor Mode: Setting boundaries without guilt.

Leading without breaking. Having real tools to

care deeply without carrying it all alone.

This shift isn’t about blame, it’s about equipping you to keep performing at your best without sacrificing your well-being.

You weren’t meant to carry the culture alone.

You were meant to help shape it, with clarity, courage, and support.

Especially thinking of yourself in the process!

---

🧭 Here’s the Truth

You’re not weak.

You’re not broken.

But you might be on the brink of burnout, and stuck in survival mode.

That’s what we help leaders break and redirect.

Not with another HR tool, but with a Mental Fitness System that helps you:

✅ Protect your own energy

✅ Communicate effectively under pressure

✅ Connect more deeply with the men (and women) you’re trying to support

✅ Lead without absorbing every emotional storm

---

🗣️ This Week Is for You, and for Them

Because when HR is strong, the entire culture rises.

And when we teach men how to manage what they’ve never been taught to name, we reduce the emotional weight you’ve been carrying alone your entire career.

This is your performance, too. Never forget that, never neglect that.

Let’s make sure you’re equipped to win it.

Here when your ready.

Coach D

🔗 Click here to book a private strategy session or explore our workplace performance trainings.